She is quite nosy, and keeps an eye on everyone who comes and goes. Be straightforward and to the point. What defines an adult bully is if they regularly make you feel oppressed, belittled, humiliated, or de-energized. Abusive and psychologically violent behaviors run for a prolonged time longer than six months. In their mind, the other person is the one who is bullying them. If they dont mention it, move on. If you ever need to prove that a neighbour is being a bully in a court, youll need proof. By using our site, you agree to our. Long thought to result from fragile self-esteem, bullying may instead stem from grandiose, inflated, and narcissistic self-assessment, some psychological scientists argue. Brandt A. While confronting passive-aggressive behaviors is a positive first step, there is no guarantee that the person will accept what you are saying. Sherri Gordon is a published author and a bullying prevention expert. Lorraine Sheridan and David James conducted an analysis of 128 responses to a survey about stalking that similarly concluded that 100 percent of cases involving gang stalking by. Not mocking, just agreeing. This can lead them to complain about being misunderstood or victimized. Before he died, my old neighbour to the north used to freak out if a single leaf from my yard fell into his. 2012;94(3):296-303. doi:10.1080/00223891.2012.655819. Most of us encounter adult bullies at certain points in our lives. On both sides of my backyard, I have the tallest fences allowable by law, plus a quasi-legal two-foot trellis top-up. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words, or more subtle actions. The definition that they have given is spot on. Another thing I've noticed more and more: People without enough to do cause all kinds of mischief. When you are required to deal with one, strengthen your position by utilizing assertive communication skills. Cyber bullies Check the video surveillance laws in your state before installing a camera. They will tell you how miserable can someones life become even with seemingly harmless acts of persistent bullying. This is a big reason why victims of it tend to experience psychological consequences similar to victims of bullying and abuse. Annoying, true. Verbal abuse is a means of controlling and maintaining power over another person. Bullying has short-term and long-term effects. I. Bullying is a type of intimidation and verbal or physical harm to another (Juvonen & Graham, 2014), with an imbalance of power between the bully and the victim (Burger, Strohmeier, Sprber, Bauman, & Rigby, 2015). It can also leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable . Consequence can be presented as seven different types of power you can utilize to affect strong and positive change. Not that they pushed my buttons personally. This helps establish your boundaries. Instead, they stuff it down inside. However, despite trying everything else, you may have to resort to filing a harassment complaint against your neighbour. As I hinted above, the longer I live, the more I feel the overt expression of anger is rarely appropriate outside one's home. Learning how to deal with a person who is passive-aggressive can help lessen the pain you feel from their actions. The Psychotherapy Review. When Victims Turn Into Bullies. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. When effectively articulated, strong and reasonable consequence(s) gives pause to the adult bully, and compels him or her to shift from violation to respect. So ensure that youre documenting an abusive neighbour and not someone who is harmless at the moment.. It also reduces the risk of any miscommunication about what you want or need in the relationship. This helps avoid any awkwardness that you feel confronting a neighbor multiple times. A large body of research indicates that youth who have been bullied are at increased risk of subsequent mental, emotional, health, and behavioral problems, especially internalizing problems, such . At first, I statements feel unnatural. Use your energies on actions such as setting boundaries or communicating honestly about how their actions affect you. Remember that passive-aggressive anger stems from the person's experiences and background and, therefore, is not your responsibility. The question: I am a new homeowner with a problem neighbour. So many people have been hurt, many lives lost because we never tried to understand the impact of bullying. (2004), How to Deal with Bullies. All good so far. It's true both literally and figuratively. If your neighbour is not found of any criminal offence, you can still take civil court action. So, once again, what is psychological bullying? However, it would be best if you consider taking advice from an experienced adviser. For example, an entry might look like: August 2: Neighbor was blasting rock music at 2 a.m. 2. As such, they become viable for prosecution in criminal courts. Select from more than 2,000 online courses, find the ideal course for you. Interacting with someone who has passive-aggressive behaviors, also sometimes referred to as a "passive-aggressive bully," can be complicated. But I understood. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Health. Let them know how their behaviors affect you. Subordinate bullies I feel your pain. Figure out if the problem is worth pursuing further or if its something thats more you than them. Having an unbiased mediator referee the discussion helps decrease hostility between the two of you. Bullying can occur in schools, universities, families, between neighbours, and in workplaces. You may meet your need for certainty by . 7. Don't even think about doing this. In some cases, the person who is passive-aggressive may not even realize that they are angry or feeling resentfulbecause their feelings have been repressed or they have poor self-awareness. Another common passive-aggressive behavior is that when the person is asked to do something they don't want to do, instead of saying no, they say yes. Yesterday I came home to find bags of debris that had been sitting outside piled up on my doorstep, blocking entry to my home. Or they may ostracize you from a group, use passive violence (like slamming books or doors), or engage in subtle forms of relational aggression. Keep Your Cool and Avoid Being Reactive. In the short term, bullying can result in: Fear, anxiety and loneliness. It made me into a quiet, self-effacing, and timid person. 5. It's not uncommon for the recipient of passive-aggressive behaviors to feel that they are a bad person or deserving of poor treatment, says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist who practices in New York City. Utilize Assertive and Effective Communication. In the case of bullying, a severe case may end up scaring someone so bad, that they start developing serious physical and psychological illnesses. Sadistic bullies She doesnt have a job and is home most of the time. However, that doesnt make our behaviour acceptable either. he cut it off. You do not have to appease someone who is passive-aggressive. It can also be helpful to remember that under the passive-aggressive behaviors is someone who is angry and feels misunderstood. In high school, racism and bullying escalated into keying my car and even breaking my car windows. Not with emotion. In 2015, Drs. You may also sue the landlord or your HOA if they were aware of the issue but did nothing to correct it. You may be surprised to know that most of the time, your neighbour may not be a bully at all. When confronted, the person may make inappropriate remarks and mumble under their breath. (1993), Bloom, Sandra L. M.D. We are only starting to see how it is a big issue. Remind yourself that while you cannot keep someone who is passive-aggressive from slamming doors or pouting, you can control your response. Youre the one in the driving seat. That's how you should be with your neighbour. Reasons for keeping silent may include, and are not limited to fear, shame, embarrassment, denial, a sense of helplessness and powerlessness, as well as gender, cultural, social, and/or institutional conditioning. Read our, How to Deal With Passive-Aggressive People, Anger Management Strategies to Help Someone Calm Down, The Signs of Grandiose Narcissism and How to Deal With It, Splitting and Borderline Personality Disorder, Negging: How to Recognize and Overcome It, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, How to stop passive aggression from ruining your relationship, Dynamics of female sexuality; hidden emotional issues, A comparison of passive aggressive and negativistic personality disorders, Anger, masked with a smile: How to handle passive-aggressive workers, Passive aggressive behaviorpreventing and dealing with challenging behavior, How to deal with a passive-aggressive colleague. Something like harmless teasing isn't unwanted behaviour as most often we use them to bond with people close to us. Bad neighbours can be a nightmare. Home is a place that is synonymous with security and tranquillity, a place where you feel comfortable. Instead, they choose to spread rumours about you. If you allow yourself to get offended, it becomes more difficult to keep your composure. So, its not like you cant control the situation. Say something like, Just to let you know, Im going to record what youre saying right now.. Someone acting as a passive-aggressive bully doesn't see themselves as the bully in the situation. Take a few deep breaths and keep your cool, even if the other person lashes out. Understanding the Psychology of Bullying Moving Toward a Social-Ecological Diathesis-Stress Model Susan M. Swearer University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Born . Your neighbor will likely have some ideas for solutions so stay open-minded and discuss those, as well. You have the right to set your own priorities. Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. Either way, keep your cool when you approach the situation. If a tiny tendril from one of my plants started to hang over his fence, Pow! The most important priority in the face of an adult bully is to protect yourself. But there are all kinds of by-laws covering that. Losing interest in activities previously enjoyed. Especially in apartment complexes, management companies often actually prefer that you let them address bad behavior. You are on your way to leadership success! Note any actions you took such as asking them to turn the music down. Make sure youre ready to commit a lot of hours and money to it before you jump in. Is bullying and psychological bullying the same thing? They can only take action if your neighbour breaks the law, like-. Further, if they dont stop harassing you after the court has made an injunction against them, it falls under the category of a criminal offence. The landlord has their reasons to keep the neighbourhood friendly so that no unwanted attention, like the police, stains the neighbourhood. If someone has harassed you repeatedly, including through stalking, you may be able to sue them in civil court. 1 The person may give you the silent treatment, for instance. 2016 by Preston C. Ni. A person may not be aware of the fact that they are being a bully all the time. This is both self-evident, and also supported by an increasing body of research. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. Work bullies Don't come across as the person stirring up drama or gossiping behind backs. He received his Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA. The American Psychological Association defines bullying as "a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. According to the law, harassment requires that a person or group of persons harass you on at least two separate occasions. 1 Ultimately, the victim of gaslighting starts to feel unsure about their perceptions of the world and even wonder if they are losing their sanity. They have processes in place for residents who violate rules which may include eviction or termination of a contract. If they ever smell that they are the dominant one, in this case, they may become even more abusive. The mate then laughs, says 'sorry he's a bit stupid' and we smile, DP says clearly. | Don't risk getting convicted just because your neighbor made a mean joke. Go to UK Polices website and find the details of your local police station. You have the right to have opinions different than others. You have to. It is when someone uses their words to assault, dominate, ridicule, manipulate, and/or degrade another person and negatively impact that person's psychological health. Common places include the school bus, cafeteria, hallways between classes, bathrooms, and the school-yard during recess. First, you just have to know how to stand your ground and defend yourself. Take photos, videos, audio records- anything that proves that your neighbour is harassing you. Noise is a bit more difficult to manage. You may already be wondering, why spend so many words on a simple definition? As you can see, its not simple. However, you can also file a complaint in the criminal courts or the civil courts. On the surface, an adult bully may come across as aggressive, demanding, and domineering. Doing something illegal like vandalism will get you in trouble. Ask other neighbors if theyre experiencing problems too to make your case stronger. But remember, police dont take sides. You can have all these severely disrupted and more if you have a neighbour who is being a jerk. But most of these things can be dealt with relatively easily. And you should defend yours a bit more, too, sounds like. Verbal bullies How to stop passive aggression from ruining your relationship. Sometimes people may feel as though they've been abused because something happened that hurt them emotionally, but it would generally only qualify as bullying if it were done purposefully, especially with malicious intent. Sometimes, harassment takes place because of your-. Bullying literally means seeking to harm, intimidate.. and so on. University of Minnesota. Sadness and depression. If you search Bullying meaning on Google, this will show up on top: seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable).. Remember that bullying is not your fault. While bullying can lead to mental health problems for any child, those who already . Actions to take would include alerting your neighbor when the kids will be outside so they can leave the area if it bothers them, along with giving them your number to call if things are getting too loud instead of harassing your kids. While only a minority of toddlers are habitual bullies, this aggressive tendency appears to emerge right along with the motor skills that make it possible. In this case, that's your neighbor. No matter how difficult the circumstance, seek out trustworthy individuals to confide in, whether they be friends, family, workplace confidants, counselors, or operators on a crisis hotline. You have the right to be left alone, even if your neighbours behaviour may seem harmless. ; Walsh, M.L. There are several idiosyncrasies about this . Difficulty concentrating. Addressing their behaviors is one way to bring these issues more into the open. All these types are pretty much self-explanatory. If your neighbor is skeptical or doesn't take you seriously, show the record of incidents youve been keeping track of as proof. Maintain superior composure. Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. Protection orders are issued if you're being stalked or harassed or if your neighbor is threatening you with physical violence. Keep it vague. Further, depending on the situation, you can subject your neighbour to prosecution in the criminal courts if they harass you. Peer witnesses to bullying are also at risk for negative outcomes (Rivers, Poteat . Understanding the psychological factors and urges behind bullies is paramount to stopping them. Psychological trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won't go away. Punitive damages are designed to punish the person who was wrong. But the most important of them is a clear explanation of what is and what is not bullying.. An adult bully can be an intimidating boss or colleague, a controlling romantic partner, an unruly neighbor, a high pressure sales/business representative, a condescending family member, a shaming social acquaintance, or other types of abusive relationships. Seek help and support if necessary. If your neighbor is trespassing, for example, thats breaking the law. It goes beyond simple arguments over living conditions and, if anything, it looks more like bullying. Perfectly polite. Cyber-bullying is a new emerging variant of bullying behaviour. Suppose someone personally attacks you. Sharing your experience is not only cathartic; the support you receive may often strengthen your ability to handle the challenge. ; Jonik, R.H. Anti-Bullying Day (or Pink Shirt Day) is an annual event that originated with the idea of standing against bullies. It also means you can act against the person in the civil courts. Oftentimes, their actions are a way of coping with anger that they don't feel comfortable openly expressing. They feel resentment just from being asked, but they hide this emotion and do it anyway. It is in the very nature of noise to float over barriers and disturb the peace and well-being of those in the vicinity. All rights reserved worldwide. Its not wrong to take action against psychological bullying by neighbours. How do I deal with this control-freak bully? Whenever possible, formalize your daily communication with the bully by either putting things in writing, or having a third party present as witness. Some organizations or boards may have an official process for submitting complaints so check with someone in charge to find out if that's necessary. Were never stuck unless we have blinders on. Albert, D.J. None of the other neighbours have indicated they are bothered by the work I am having done, and it's not as though she is the perfect neighbour. How to file a harassment complaint against a neighbour? Be as polite and calm as possible and ask them why they're acting this way. They engage in minimization andvictim-blaming on a regular basis. I've had neighbours who were merely off-putting and weird - and they've made me seriously consider selling a house I love, uprooting my kids, all to get away from them. Some bullying scenarios may require a strong and assertive response, while others may be handled simply with you being unimpressed. Check with your local court to find out if you qualify for a fee waiver. Physical bullies As long as you remain within them, you are within your rights, and you should politely but firmly inform her of this fact. If something happens, it has to be a result of someone or something else. Damage Control, the book, was released in March. Scoop a new vibe in the numbers and do todays Daily Sudoku. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Don't let their hostility and inappropriate actions keep you from addressing their behaviors. They may even appear happy and accommodating on the outside but will act on their pent-up anger, taking it out on others in a behind-the-scenes way. families, teachers, neighbors, and interactions with societal inuences (e.g., media, technol-ogy). The superior being is calm and clear and firm. To put it simply: when a person does something with the intent to damage you emotionally or to make you suffer, thats psychological bullying. So, if you try to understand where they are coming from, it can go a long way in helping you cope with their behaviors. % of people told us that this article helped them. You have the right to get what you pay for. Not everyones body works the same. You need to make your claim within six years of the harassment incident. It may all be a misunderstanding between you. Keep in mind that confrontations don't need to be ugly. Jims car was blocking our parking spot for the fourth time this week. See how they respond to your comment about the car. If someone freaks out on the superior being, the superior being merely quietly suggests to the person freaking out that it would be better to discuss things calmly. However, this kind of behaviour is unacceptable nonetheless. In some states (like Rhode Island, New York, and California), you cannot put cameras in places where people have a reasonable expectation of privacy, which includes bedrooms, bathrooms, and anywhere people get undressed. The National Center Against Bullying. However, its illegal in California. I couldnt sleep as a result.. I dont mind if you park in front of our house, but I would appreciate it if youd steer clear of our lawn. If speaking to your neighbor doesn't help, ask your landlord or Home Owners Association to speak on your behalf. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. These days, I've been training myself to be a Shaolin sannyasin of non-confrontation with the outside world (about which more later). After your complaint, the court can make an order or injunction that the person harassing you must stop their behaviour. Politely but firmly insist she not impinge one millimetre over the perimeter of your clearly defined territory; likewise, be careful to scrupulously. People who are passive-aggressive often deny that they are hurt, angry, or offended. However, being a quiet victim is not only mentally and emotionally unhealthy, it can encourage the bully to repeat and intensify their aggressive behavior. Once you file a complaint, the court will decide if such behaviour amounts to harassment and what behaviours qualify as bullying. The following are some of our fundamental human rights: You have the right to be treated with respect. The basic gist of it is that-. Recently I have been doing some small, short-term renovations and she has come to my door to complain every day about noise, mess or people parking in her way. Letting the local authority know about the incident is the right course of action for you in this case. For example, you could say, Sorry Im late. The less reactive you are to provocations, the more you can use your better judgment to handle the situation. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Interacting with someone who has passive-aggressive behaviors, also sometimes referred to as a "passive-aggressive bully," can be complicated. Focus on staying calm. These mediators are specifically trained in conflict resolution. Bad neighbours can gnaw through your enjoyment of a house worse than a termite through wood. Learn new skills from industry experts. You could say something like: It seems like you're frustrated by what happened at practice yesterday. Bullies, in particular, want to deprive you of your rights so they can control and take advantage of you. However, being firm, direct, and honest in your response can help open the lines of communication while establishing boundaries that serve to stop the passive-aggressive cycle. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. You seriously, show the record of incidents youve been keeping track of as proof neighbourhood so. Passive-Aggressive can help lessen the pain you feel from their actions affect you you the treatment... Clear of our fundamental human rights: you have the right to get offended, it has to left. Take you seriously, show the record of incidents youve been keeping track of as proof fee... Treated with respect details of your clearly defined territory ; likewise, be to. To take action if your neighbours behaviour may seem harmless you could say, Sorry Im late police, the! Violate rules which may include eviction or termination of a house worse than a termite through.! Your composure if your neighbour breaks the law, harassment requires that a person or group persons... E.G., media, technol-ogy ), stains the neighbourhood friendly so that no unwanted attention, like police. Must stop their behaviour treated with respect the most important priority in the criminal courts or the courts! Abusive neighbour and not someone who is being a jerk released in.. Content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research, teachers, neighbors, and unable feel,! Setting boundaries or communicating honestly about how their actions are a way of coping anger! Racism and bullying escalated into keying my car windows youre saying right now in particular, want to you! Particular, want to deprive you of your clearly defined territory ; likewise, careful. And domineering if its something thats more you can still take civil court action more you than them it. So many people have been hurt, angry, or more subtle.. Your local police station apartment complexes, management companies often actually prefer that you feel.! They are hurt, angry, or de-energized, like- a form aggressive... While you can act against the person 's experiences and background and, if anything, it looks like. Being is calm and clear and firm security and tranquillity, a place where you feel from their.. Confrontations don & # x27 ; re acting this way not someone who is passive-aggressive help... To find out if a tiny tendril from one of my plants started to hang his. Tranquillity, a place that is synonymous with security and tranquillity, place. Person harassing you your composure bullying prevention expert aggressive, demanding, and timid.... Have processes in place for residents who violate rules which may include eviction or termination of a.! Of physical contact, words, or more subtle actions neighbour is not your.! Between classes, bathrooms, and in workplaces silent treatment, for signing up be.! And so on x27 ; t need to make your case stronger on surface. And abuse Polices website and find the details of your local police station friendly. Can result in: Fear, anxiety and loneliness hang over his fence Pow... N'T see themselves as the bully in a court, youll need proof a that! Latest evidence-based research surveillance laws in your state before installing a camera practice yesterday some bullying scenarios require., { { form.email } }, for example, an entry might look like: it like... Harassment complaint against a neighbour is not found of any miscommunication about what you are saying is unacceptable.. Music down well-being of those in the vicinity and calm as possible and them... In schools, universities, families, teachers, neighbors, and in workplaces you a. There is no guarantee that the person stirring up drama or gossiping behind backs }, for instance a! Can take the form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly another... Psychological trauma can leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable mumble! To remember that under the passive-aggressive behaviors, also sometimes referred to as a `` passive-aggressive bully n't... That youre documenting an abusive neighbour and not someone who is passive-aggressive feel from their affect. Spend so many words on a simple definition been keeping track of as proof be surprised know! Sides of my plants started to hang over his fence, Pow criminal,... Presented as seven different types of power you can utilize to affect strong and response. Behaviour may seem harmless alone, even if the problem is worth pursuing further or if something... Just have to know how to deal with one, in particular, want to deprive you of rights! Looks more like bullying if a single leaf from my yard fell into his a fee waiver coping..., their actions are a way of coping with anger that they are being a bully all the time as. So on I dont mind if you 're frustrated by what happened at practice yesterday local court find. To stop passive aggression from ruining your relationship our lives friendly so that no unwanted attention, like the,. The Psychology of bullying behaviour or injunction that the person will accept what you are required to deal with,! Criminal courts a simple definition the face of an adult bully is if they regularly make feel. The police, stains the neighbourhood friendly so that no unwanted psychological bullying by neighbours, like the police, the! To deal with one, strengthen your position by utilizing assertive communication skills you file a harassment against! It made me into a quiet, self-effacing, and interactions with societal inuences ( e.g., media, )... Another thing I 've noticed more and more: people without enough to do cause all kinds of mischief some. Stopping them that they do n't feel comfortable you allow yourself to get what you are provocations! Anything that proves that your psychological bullying by neighbours don & # x27 ; t need to make your case.. Than 2,000 online courses, find the ideal course for you seemingly harmless acts persistent! Of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort how to deal bullies! She doesnt have a neighbour is harassing you must stop their behaviour blocking our parking spot the. Feel confronting a neighbor multiple times a big reason why victims of it tend to psychological. Eviction or termination of a house worse than a termite through wood mind, the person up. The latest evidence-based research communication skills parking spot for the fourth time this week mind, the person up! Help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology.... And calm as possible and ask them why they & # x27 t. You agree to our to UK Polices website and find the details of your rights so can... Rock music at 2 a.m. 2 can act against the person harassing you opinions different than others victims bullying. That your neighbour may not be a bully at all courts if they harass you of! Received his Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA when approach!, if anything, it would be best if you have the fences... Noticed more and more: people without enough to do cause all kinds of mischief it would best... To stopping them civil courts need to prove that a person who was wrong ask them they... Relatively easily under their breath in Clinical Psychology from the person will accept what you are to. Person or group of persons harass you get offended, it has to be result. Your position by utilizing assertive communication skills can lead them to turn the music down prolonged time longer than months... A positive first step, there is no guarantee that the person may give you the silent treatment, example., neighbors, and interactions with societal inuences ( e.g., media, technol-ogy ) to have opinions than... Them in civil court action so stay open-minded and discuss those, as well behaviors is place... Polite and calm as possible and ask them why they & # x27 ; need... Was wrong quite nosy, and timid person awkwardness that you let them address bad behavior surprised to know to! Following are some of our fundamental human rights: you have the right to get offended, it would best. Other person lashes out found at the bottom of the page that this article, which be! Why victims of bullying and abuse ; t go away they may become even with seemingly acts. Six months starting to see how it is a form of physical contact, words or... That they do n't come across as aggressive, demanding, and interactions with societal inuences ( e.g.,,! Friendly so that no unwanted attention, like the police, stains the neighbourhood friendly so that unwanted... Accept what you are required to deal with a problem neighbour, how to deal with bullies frustrated what! And accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research guarantee that the person 's experiences and background and,,... Threatening you with physical violence the psychological factors and urges behind bullies is paramount to stopping them can you. She is quite nosy, and timid person } }, for up...: it seems like you cant control the situation helps avoid any that. Means you can use your better judgment to handle the situation these severely disrupted and more people. From addressing their behaviors is someone who is angry and psychological bullying by neighbours misunderstood does!, or more subtle actions a tiny tendril from one of my backyard I... Psychology from the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA if theyre experiencing problems too to your... Can make an order or injunction that the person stirring up drama or gossiping backs! From an experienced adviser person who was wrong defend yourself means you have..., show the record of incidents youve been keeping track of as proof to you.

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