"And they just might be a fabulous contact for you or know the right person for you to talk to." Instead of chatting online, join a club. You might disagree on something that’s important to one of you. This helps a shy person over the hurdle."
"When you do what you've said you were going to do, it gives the other person the impression that you keep your word," she says.
"Start with a known instead of an unknown to demystify the process. "People like to hear their own name," says Handal, pointing to another one of Carnegie's basic principles: that a person's name is a sweet sound to him or her.
Let yourself be defined as a unique individual, not a single trait.Sometimes we really are our own worst enemy. They avoid it, afraid it will lead to rejection. You need to take advantage of every opportunity. I can have another you by tomorrow So don't you ever for a second get to thinking, baby. You could sit behind them the whole season and never know that if you don’t start a conversation. It also helps you to remember that person’s name -- at this event and in the future -- so it’s also a smart social skill.Many introverted professionals think they have to pretend to be an extrovert for networking situations. That’s not true. Instead, analyze the power of that voice so you can defuse it.Make a list of all your positive qualities--enlist a friend or family member to help if you need to--and read or recite it when you're feeling insecure. 9. Let it remind you how much you have to offer.Shy people tend to have fewer but deeper friendships--which means your choice of friend or partner is even more important.
"You don't have to find a shared interest. "Your ability to be intimate with others is the core of networking," says Ferrazzi. But you don’t have to turn into a ham actor. "That's a nice soft way for people at the shy end of the spectrum to meet others," says Handal.Sometimes shy people have trouble networking because they don't think they have anything significant, such as a job or contacts, to give back to someone who helped them.It’s true that networking works best when you have something to offer, says Ferrazzi.
If you don't, you're just another schmoozer.This also builds a future into the relationship. You will find yourself talking to people who don’t like you and people you don’t like. Those who are close to you already know, and others may never even have an opportunity to notice. So start slow by networking with relatives and friends. It will probably make networking easier for both of you. Shyness can truly hold people back--partly because those who are shy tend to avoid public situations and speaking up, and partly because they experience so much chronic anxiety.If that's you, take comfort in knowing you are far from alone--four out of 10 people consider themselves shy.But here's the good news: Shyness can be overcome. But you don’t have to turn into a ham actor. "You can do a significant amount of valuable networking without ever making a cold call," says Lynne Sarikas, director of Northeastern University's MBA Career Center. Your alumni network is a gold mine of connections. Ask your new buddy if he knows anyone else at the event. ".The advantage of mixing networking with fun is that the conversation is easy. You don't have to apologize for wanting to learn more about the person you are talking to. Why not?Your interests can serve you well at work events, too. But that undermines their careers and projects.“Networking isn’t smarmy,” says Keith Ferrazzi, author of.Fortunately, networking is a set of social skills any smart person can learn. Those who have never suffered from shyness have no idea how debilitating it can be, especially for someone in a professional situation.
Sure, you do have to make more effort than it takes to stay at home and read. (Dale Carnegie literally wrote the book on networking in 1936 with.Walking up to a group already engaged in a lively conversation and joining in can be intimidating. Just don't apologize for it.Networking doesn’t only happen at work.
This is especially true if you are shy. You will meet people too busy to chat. ".Don't label yourself as shy--or as anything. Meeting people and not hitting it off is all part of the process.When you overcome your fear of rejection, you’ll find it much easier to make cold calls and strike up conversations with strangers. "You build your credibility by asking a question.” Bonus: For a shy person, asking a question may be much easier than launching into a speech or sharing an opinion.One of the most profound points Carnegie made in.“Always have business cards handy,” says Handal. by Terrell Grice (Ft. Avery Wilson & Avery Wilson). Don’t wait for your new friend to ask for your card. People already know what they do in their spare time. If using this strategy feels manipulative, stop and pay attention to how it feels when someone says your name in a similar situation. That can make a bad first impression and kill the flow of conversation. And now you have made a solid, repeatable connection. Voracious reader?
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